January 25, 2011:
I was 153 pounds, tight, toned and had the “bikini ready” body I had been dreaming of since I was a young girl.
But you know what else I had?
I had a volatile relationship with food and a toxic relationship with my body.
I had yet to except my own drug-like addictions to food and sugar, I was part of this all or nothing restriction battle around everything I ate (or didn’t), and I was walking around hating on my body 24 hours a day!
This is all DESPITE the fact that I had the body I had been wishing, hoping, and slaving for my entire life!
What’s up with that?
I’ll tell you what’s up with that.
If you’ve been spending your life “fat shaming” and “food shaming” yourself (and carrying around the ‘weight’ of that habit), it doesn’t just suddenly go away if you lose a few pounds or drop a few dress sizes.
You see…
I got really good at outsmarting what ever plan or program I was on.
I got really good at “fake it till you make it” and motivational pump-me-ups.
I got really good at tricking the scale, tricking my stomach, and tricking my mind.
I got really good at living my life hungry, tired, miserable and restricted.
I got good at it because that is what I LEARNED and that is what I PRACTICED.
I also practiced feeling shame around my fat…feeling shame around food…feeling shame around my body.
And it’s only because I never learned to own and accept my body…own and accept my choices…own and accept my FAT!
To see that my body is just my body…
To see that my choices are just my choices…
To see that my fat is JUST fat…
It was the shame around my body, the shame around my choices, and the shame around my fat that REALLY weighed the most.
Those were the things that were weighing me down.
Those were the things that were acting like a downward force on my life, my mind, and my heart.
Those were the things that were comprising that 100 lb. bag of rocks that I was carrying around every single day.
THAT was the weight that needed to be dropped.
weight (n.): downward force of body, heaviness, burden, mass
weight (v.): to load with weight
weigh (v.): measure, carry, bear, move
Imagine if you weighed all the comments or snide remarks you make to yourself about yourself that don’t make you feel very good?
In fact, they make you feel BAD đ
The things you say to yourself when you’re judging and critiquing yourself the harshest.
The things you say to the parts of you that you don’t like or that upset you when you face them in the mirror.
The things that shift your focus towards all of the things that you have absolutely no control over or that are in the past.
Imagine if you weighed all of THAT.
Then imagine the weight of the weight of THAT.
- The burden
- The energy-sucking
- The resistance
- The hating on yourself and your body 24 hours a day.
- The constant check-in with whatever unit of measure you are tracking that week â whether it’s weight, jeans size, or complements -â to determine your self worth for the time being.
Weigh THAT.
Track THAT.
Monitor THAT.
Lose THAT weight.
And I think that you’ll find:
You’ll LIKE yourself more.
You’ll feel more beautiful, powerful, and confident.
And your butt will most definitely look better in those jeans.
âI saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover itâ
â Michelangelo
The Weight Of Your Weight Is Fattening!
And not just metaphorically eitherâŚ
Based on what the latest in science and research is telling us about your brainâs role in weight loss and metabolism, this is a scientifically proven CERTAINTY!
The weight of typical weight loss â itâs like having a bowl of âstress soupâ running through your body 24 hours a day.
- Anytime you feel frustrated or annoyedâŚ
- Anytime you feel hungry, restricted, deprivedâŚ
- Any time you spend thinking about what you DISLIKE about yourselfâŚ
Your brain just sees it as stressâŚ
And it lays down a cocktail of those infamous âfat-storage hormonesâ that we hear about all the time in the weight loss industry — specifically cortisol and epinephrine.
But in reality, they are simply STRESS hormones.
Every time your weight, your body, or your diet are STRESSING you out and COSTING you energy, those hormones will be a âflowingâŚ
And they will be FIGHTING your weight loss every step of the way!
âYou wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.â
— Toni Morrison
So what’s the simplest way to ditch THAT excess weight you are carrying around?
Simple.
Ditch the meticulous counting and measuring and weighing:
If you are focusing on a number and your life is being dramatically impacted by your attachment to said number OR it’s driving you nuts, ditch it.
Ditch the stress and heaviness and burden:
If you are following a program that stresses you out, burdens or flips your life upside down, or simply sucks the enjoyment and fun out of everything, ditch it.
Ditch the hoping and wishing and waiting:
If you have “I really need to do something about my weight” running on a hamster wheel in the back of your mind, and you are not ready (or it isn’t the right time) to do anything about it, no sense carrying that around with you. Decide that now is NOT the right time, and ditch it.
But if I were to “bottom line” it, I would simply say:
- Ditch the weight of the uber-rigid restriction and control around yourself, your body, and food.
- Ditch the weight of self-rejection and judgments around yourself, your body, and foodâŚ
- Ditch the weight of that 100 lb. bag of regrets, failures, shame, blame, guilt, and comparison that youâre currently carrying around about yourself, your body, and foodâŚ
- Ditch the weight of the weight PERIOD…because that is what is weighing your body (and your life) down!
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