Okay whatever you do, don’t think about the color blue.
Seriously. Red, green, even yellow, but NOT blue.
Do NOT think about the color blue.
How did that work for you?
Did your thoughts remain blue-free?
I’m not saying it’s IMpossible, but I have a feeling that it was pretty damn hard NOT to picture the color blue in your mind.
Because anytime we are told NOT to do something, that particular ‘something’ becomes harder to avoid — especially once it’s brought to our front-of-mind awareness (and if it’s something we desire).
I was listening to an audio last week on the Science of Self Control, and it made some really good points.
You can look at willpower like a muscle that gets exhausted with too much use.
So essentially every day you wake up with limited amounts of this self control ‘energy’, and once it’s gone, it’s gone.
You can absolutely strengthen this ‘muscle’ with practice and training, but you can also put yourself in situations NOT to need it as much.
This brings me to one of my favorite topics (and a topic that never seems to go too long without my attention): FOOD.
What would your world look like if you didn’t have to constantly exert your willpower muscles day in, day out?
What would your life feel like if food wasn’t such a battle between yourself…and yourself
“Should I eat this?” “No! It’s ‘bad’ for you!” “But I want it!” “What about your diet, you’ll ruin it?” “Oh screw it!” (all out binge warfare ensues)
I’m sure we’ve all experienced this a time or two when we have that face-off between our ‘weakened’ self and our strongest self.
I know I have a time or ten.
So what’s the solution?
What if you didn’t have to depend on every morsel of your willpower every single day?
What if your life was designed based on freedom, choice, and permission, and THEN you had those stores of willpower by your side when you REALLY needed them?
What if, what if, what if?
I wrote my insights all about this matter below… 🙂
[Wanna Lose Weight? Eat MORE Chocolate!]
Sounds a little strange, doesn’t it?
A few years ago (back when I owned my own fitness studio for women) I had a client who was a self-proclaimed chocolate addict.
Frequently she would show up at my studio and proclaim that she was going to go cold-turkey, and would swear to a chocolate-free life for X amount of time.
This happened every few weeks it seemed, and hands down every single time she would get discouraged, give up, and become more and more convinced that she would never get the body she wanted because of her chocolate addiction.
So one day we were chatting, and I asked her “Do you WANT to give up chocolate?”
The answer was a big FAT no!
You see she thought that the only way to ever get ‘control’ of her addiction was to go cold turkey or never have chocolate again.
When we dug a little deeper we actually discovered found that giving up chocolate completely left her feeling really LOUSY, and she was (literally) having daydreams about eating it. But she also felt like crap when she inevitably binged on it– both mentally and physically.
Now I know I tend to have some out-of-the-box ideas, but just roll with me for a moment as I share with you where the wheels in my head started turning from there…
I went on to ask her, “If you could eat chocolate as many times per week as you wanted to and it wouldn’t impact your body and fitness goals, how many days of the week would you ideally WANT to eat chocolate?”
Her immediate reply was “EVERYDAY!”
I then asked her “What is that ‘sweet spot’ (no pun intended) where you would be able to get that delicious fix you were looking for, but without pushing yourself over the edge or leaving you in a lethargic sugar coma”?
Here’s where it got downright unconventional and where she got thrown a major curveball — one that she wasn’t expecting, and one that would seem very counter-intuitive to someone trying to ‘control’ their chocolate intake.
I recommended that we actually design a plan-of-attack that incorporated her ‘sweet spot’ serving size of chocolate…EVERY SINGLE DAY.
What?!? Chocolate every day?
There’s a few reasons I felt this would be a good strategy:
- She could finally own her ‘drug’ of choice…but now WITHOUT shame, blame, guilt, or comparison. Now it was a game of choice, permission, and freedom.
- She could finally meet herself where she was…instead of trying to keep up with other people’s expectations, rules, or parameters.
- She wouldn’t feel so deprived or feel like she was on a “diet”. She obviously wanted to make chocolate part of a healthy lifestyle, so this was a great way to do that.
- She could feel that sense of ‘control’ that she desired by sticking to her portion-controlled chocolate treat every day.
- She wouldn’t be setting herself up for what I refer to as “a losing game”. Whenever we set out to do something that we KNOW we aren’t willing to do or simply aren’t ready to do, it’s essentially setting ourselves up for failure.
- She wouldn’t have to use up her limited resources of willpower (everyone has limited supplies of it– even those most seemingly disciplined person) so now she could spend her willpower supplies in the places she really needed it.
No joke and no exaggeration, she lost 6lbs in the next 3 weeks!
For her already-slim petite frame, this was A LOT to lose without changing anything else.
All she did was commit to eating a certain portion of chocolate every single day. She even decided on her own to make it dark chocolate.
Now keep in mind we did set parameters and “rules” for her. The portion size was pre-determined and the frequency was only ONE time per day. That meant that if she had it after lunch, she couldn’t have it after dinner and visa versa.
But here’s the thing that I was most excited about:
She was actually EXCITED to start this experiment.
She had this vigor about her like she knew she was finally setting herself up for a WINNING game. She no longer had the urges to go on an all-out choc-binge after a few days, and she finally had that control she was looking for initially.
And she finally gave herself permission to simply accept herself as she was — her desires and all — and meet herself THERE…but without feeling guilty or ashamed of her love of chocolate. Now she got to ENJOY it.
This is the exact EnLIGHTENment that we teach all our EPLL clients.
You see I don’t believe that any woman has a food ‘problem’ or a motivation ‘problem’. I simply believe that most journeys are weighted journeys.
I call it the weight of the weight.
- The shame, blame, guilt, and comparison
- A journey that you don’t enjoy and don’t WANT to stick with
- The restriction, punishment, control, and all/nothing rules.
And you don’t have to live like this. You CAN set yourself free by creating a world of choice, permission, freedom, and influence.
So what’s YOUR drug?
Where are you ignoring what you desire in favor of what you think you’re “supposed to” do or “supposed to” commit to?
I say: Have BOTH!
Create a plan that’s right for YOU that gets you to your goals, but without missing out on your life.
Take it from me (and from my clients that have finally ditched the weight of the weight)… IT’S POSSIBLE!
But keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting.
Only YOU can decide who you wanna be and how you wanna live from here on out.
Because if loving chocolate (and other food deliciousness) is wrong…I don’t wanna be right.
