Last Mother’s Day I ‘celebrated’ it by sending her some (mildly inappropriate) SomeEcards, and baking her a cookie cake to leave for her at her house (She was out of town that day, I knew she would come home to it late that night).
Because…
In my family, food is love.
Actually I’m pretty sure it’s like this in all families, cultures, and traditions — not just bacon-loving Jewish families) 🙂
> When we’re together, we eat.
> When something sad happens, we eat.
> When it’s a joyous occasion, we eat.
> When there’s nothing else to talk about, we talk about food.
But for a few years it wasn’t like this.
For me, food was a major DISconnect between me, myself, and I…and in turn me and my family.
They’d ask where we wanted to go for dinner, and I would quickly reply with:
“Somewhere I can order a salad” (as I stashed my to-go packets of fat-free salad dressing in my purse.)
When we were out to eat and I was tossing my dry, lifeless steamed brocolli around on my fork, I would glance over at their french fries or mashed potatoes and impulsively make a judgement in my mind:
“Ughh don’t they know how ‘fattening’ that is? How ‘bad’ it is for them??”
BAM! Immediate DISconnect.
When was the last time you sat across the table judging-the-crap out of (technical term) someone you love, appreciate, and feel gratitude for having in your life?
For me, it used to happen all too often. That is, until I stopped judging MYSELF for all the things that I was judging OTHERS about 10X as harshly (and it didn’t have even have to be remotely food-relate.)
You see when you’re disconnected from yourself in one way shape or form, you’re automatically disconnected from others when it comes to that same thing.
If you’re judging others because of what they weigh, what they eat, or what they order for dinner, you better believe you’re judging YOURSELF around that same topic just as much (if not more).
If you’re judging others because of their job ‘success status’, the wedding ring on (or off) their finger, or how much you believe they “have it all together”, you better believe that you’re looking at yourself under that same microscope.
So back to my mom’s (white chocolate raspberry heart-shaped) cookie cake….
To me, food is LOVE.
It’s love to me. It’s love to my family. And in fact it’s one of the ways I connect with a lot of the people in my life.
The way I see it is:
I can either fight it, judge it, meticulously count it, or put it under some sort of microscope…
Or I can LOVE it.
I can invite it in to my body, choose the quantity, quality, or time of day according to my wants and needs at any given time, and I can connect to it.
And I ventured (a few years ago) to bet that when I STOPPED rejecting it, obsessively burning it, or hyper-critically judging it….
Only THEN would I be able to make those same allowances and invitations to and with OTHERS.
Then and ONLY then.
Because only then can I now:
- Let food be food.
- Let food be love.
- Let food be a way of ME spreading the love.
- Accept myself unconditionally, care for myself however I need it, and connect to myself no matter what I did or didn't do that day...
I get to spread the love of the joy, the pleasure, the connection, and the pure deliciousness of food.
And in turn I give others that same permission and the allowances to have a lovefest with the food that they allow into their lives, their bellies, their hearts of soul.
Just by doing it unto myself.
And trust me:
This way is SO MUCH MORE FUN!
Try it. You’ll see 🙂
Ps. Below is my attempt to recreate a white chocolate raspberry cookie that my mom used to love. It’s crispy crunchy on the outside, ooey gooey doughy on the inside– my cookie ‘signature’ 😉
